As I pulled away from the coffee shop after saying goodbye that Sunday afternoon, I began weeping. With tears clouding my eyes, I managed to navigate onto the freeway for the long drive home. Alone. I thought of all the people around me driving to their various destinations and wondered if any felt as sad as me, or were they all happy on this sunny summer Sunday?
Because of my husband’s job, he and I had been living four hours apart for several months. His help was necessary at another facility, and while I was proud of his skill-set, it broke my heart for us to be separated.
I hated saying goodbye on Sundays. I came to dread the end of every weekend because it meant a week of being alone, of worrying about my husband working incredibly long hours, and of dealing with all things happening at home. I missed him so much.
Things were falling apart. My car was having mechanical issues, our shower in the master bedroom was leaking, causing the wood to rot, the stove broke, and worst of all, our daughter was experiencing serious health issues. Managing all these problems without him felt impossible. My husband hated that he was so far away from his family and not home to help. I wanted to give up and was close to a meltdown.
I decided the best thing to do on that car ride home was to turn on some worship music to lift my spirits; otherwise, I was going to unravel completely. As I began to worship and pray, I cried out to the Lord, seeking His comfort. I then remembered scripture I had memorized year ago.
“So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.”
Hebrews 4:16 NLT
I desperately needed God’s mercy, His grace, and His comfort. My heart felt broken, and the separation was very painful, but I trusted that the Lord would carry us through this tough season.
He is a gracious and compassionate Father, One whom you can come to at any time with your needs. You can approach His throne boldly knowing He hears the cries of your heart, and He is willing to offer you grace, mercy, and unending love.
That summer was particularly challenging; however, I continually approached the throne of God asking for fresh grace for the day, for His mercy, for strength, for healing for our daughter, for the work assignment to end quickly, for protection for my husband, and for the courage to manage our home alone.
When life is hard, it is helpful to remember some truths:
- God is on the throne, sovereign over all
- He will not allow you to be overcome
- He is faithful to carry out His promises in His Word
- He is ready to listen to all your heart’s cries
- He will never leave your side
God knows all about our struggles, our pain, our worries, our fears, our trials, and our weaknesses, but we have hope because of who God is. He is trustworthy, He is mighty, He is holy, and He is loving.
We can cast our cares on the Lord and believe that He will help us get through the rough patches. He loves us beyond measure. He is our Comforter, our Protector, and our good, good Father.
Good, Good Father– Housefires II
*I wrote this post based on the summer of 2014, but again my husband is working away from home, and these feelings are resurfacing; however, God’s promises remain.