One way to warm your weary soul is to go on a solo retreat.
A solo retreat is about stepping away from your regular life and daily routines in order to reconnect with God on a deeper level. Yes, Please! Not only was I craving that renewal, but also seeking rest, quiet, and time alone.
With solo retreats, there are no outside influences or structured activities and schedules, and there is the opportunity to allow ourselves to make decisions based on what we feel in the moment. How freeing is that? Our lives are so full of strict schedules, expectations, responsibilities, and such that having time away without much structure seems foreign.
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“Without solitude, it is virtually impossible to live a spiritual life…We do not take the spiritual life seriously if we do not set aside some time to be with God and listen to him.”
Henri Nouwen
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I was feeling exhausted physically and spiritually, and my spiritual director suggested I take a solitude retreat. What?! I have attended plenty of women’s retreats over the years but never sought out a destination to retreat alone.
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“Most of us are more tired than we know at the soul level. We are teetering on the brink of dangerous exhaustion, and we cannot do anything else until we have gotten some rest…we can’t really engage until solitude becomes a place of rest for us rather than another place for human striving and hard work.”
Ruth Haley Barton
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I needed to be recharged and refreshed, so I immediately began planning my time away. Initially, I had hoped to stay at a retreat center in Santa Barbara, but due to damage from the mudslides, it was closed. Instead, I found a darling cottage through Airbnb in Montecito right by the beach. It was absolutely perfect.
During my solo retreat, I enjoyed three sunny days reading books, eating nourishing, comfort food, lounging, and writing in solitude. I took a few long walks to the beach and rarely encountered another person.
Before leaving for the retreat, I planned a very loose schedule with a few intentions. I decided I wouldn’t pressure myself to dig right into the spiritual aspects, but allow myself time to unwind. After settling in at the cottage, I laid on a lounge chair soaking up some of the afternoon sunshine. I had intended to read but instead enjoyed the sounds of ducks quacking from the neighbor’s yard as I let my mind wander. I set my book down and reminded myself it was okay just to sit there and be still.
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“Psalm 46: 10 tells us there is a kind of knowing that comes in silence and not in words-but first we must be still. The Hebrew word translated “Be still” literally means “Let go of your grip.”
Ruth Haley Barton
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The first night I did something I have never done- I went to dinner alone. I found this tiny but popular restaurant around the corner from my Airbnb. It was packed, but I didn’t wait long for a table. It felt a bit awkward at first to dine by myself, but once I was immersed in a book I had brought, I didn’t even care. Although I am an extrovert, I enjoyed eating my meal in silence.
I ventured into town the following morning for coffee and listened to all the locals chatting to one another. I smiled to myself knowing I was anonymous and didn’t have to worry about seeing anyone I knew. I stuck my earbuds in to drown out the noise and sipped my hot coffee while I read my Bible and journaled.
Later that morning, I decided to walk to the beach. The day was sunny and warm, and I couldn’t wait to get to the ocean. There is nothing more calming to me than the sound of the waves breaking gently along the shore. I listened to a podcast as I made my way to the beach and stopped a few times along the way to jot some notes in my phone. With each step and each breath, I found myself letting go of the stress and exhaustion I felt. Once there, I sat on a low wall next to the sand, with the sun on my face, and spent time in prayer and solitude. It felt so foreign but delightful at the same time.
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“Most of the things we need to be most fully alive never come in busyness. They grow in rest.”
Mark Buchanan
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I grabbed some lunch in town and brought it back to the cottage where I planned to plunge into a retreat plan sent to me by a friend. She and another woman wrote this marvelous guide called “A Journey Through Psalm 139,” and the prompts in there were just what I needed to reconnect with the Lord on that intimate level. There were thought-provoking questions and steps to follow to go deeper into the Word and into my soul. I spent hours outside at the table praying, reading, reflecting, and responding to the guide. My afternoon time was so fruitful, fulfilling, and healing.
Dinner was take-out from a nearby Italian restaurant because after the hours spent alone with God, I wanted more solitude. My evening consisted of reading a memoir, listening to music, and praying. Again, being alone felt so strange, but I knew I needed it so God could do some work in my heart and soul.
The following morning, I enjoyed breakfast at the cottage. After loafing around for a long while, I slowly packed up my things. I said goodbye to the wonderful little house and headed back to the beach. Again, I was blessed with fabulous weather. I recalled from the day before seeing a bench right above the sand, so I quickly located it. There I sat for several hours partly doing nothing but noticing things around me and partly reading. It was glorious! I took a walk on the shore before getting in my car to head back home.
My solitude retreat was an incredible time of respite. I gained clarity, deepened my relationship with God, and felt refreshed. I am so thankful I could take this time to retreat and hope to make this an annual event.
Do you need to warm your weary soul? If so, I hope you can take the time to plan a solo retreat.
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Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will make a tiny commission if you click through and make a purchase. You may read more about that here.
Here are some books and resources to help you:
ReNew (source for the retreat guide I used)
Invitation to Solitude and Silence by Ruth Haley Barton
Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton
The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan
Tips and Tricks for Planning a Solo Retreat by Ashlee Gadd
Loved this, Natalie! I want to go there, too. I hope that you carry the peace and presence of God that filled you up there with you for a long time!
Thank you, Patti 🙂 I hope I can carry those as well. Looking at the photos reminds me of what a special, sacred time I had.
I need a getaway very soon!!! TY for your beautiful post! ❤
I sure hope you are able to make that getaway happen, Donna!
What a lovely thought! It’s not that I haven’t thought it before! I want this one. Most of all, drinking up the love of God will be so refreshing and reviving. Thank you for the tips and suggestions Natalie.
April, I highly encourage you to go on a solitude retreat. It was definitely refreshing. Thanks for stopping by to comment. Blessings to you xo
I love the retelling of your experience. Those times of solitude are so clarifying and restorative. I especially loved your quotes inbetween. I never would have known that “be still” means “let go of your grip.” I am constantly amazed at just how much God calls us to just BE, and surrender safely as a child in His embrace ✨
Thank you for your encouragement, Maria. I love the reminder to “let go of your grip” and need to see it often. It is so sweet to be enveloped in His embrace xo
This sounded wonderful, Natalie. Thanks for sharing all the details of how it looked. A friend of mine just took a two week retreat by herself at a beach in South Carolina. I’m wanting to do this, too, but I am a mountain gal. This piece encourages me to try it soon. Xoxo
Leslie,
You could easily head away to the mountains for a solitude retreat. That sounds so appealing! I hope you are able to make time to get alone with God. Blessings to you, friend.