Do you have days when you are extra hard on yourself? You know those times where you are heavy handed with self-criticism or self-loathing? You feel unhappy with the way you look, something you said or didn’t say, or a goal you didn’t accomplish. Well, you are in good company because I have those days, too.

THE SWIMSUIT BLUES

This past summer, as my husband and I searched the crowded San Sebastían beach for an open spot to stretch out our towels, I felt self-conscious in my swimsuit. I hadn’t lost all the weight I had hoped to before our trip and felt flabby. We settled in for the day near the water, and as I was applying sunscreen, I noticed something interesting. The majority of the women were wearing bikinis no matter their shape or size. Many were even topless, and no one was gawking. I saw slender and overweight women, young and old, toned and not, smooth and wrinkled. The women seemed comfortable with their bodies and not concerned that they didn’t look perfect in their swimsuits.

The sun was hot overhead, so I went to dip my toes into the cool water and was still feeling ill at ease in my bathing suit. Then I heard God whisper to me so gently, “I see you as beautiful and love you just the way you are.” As I began walking along the shore processing God’s tender words to me, He reminded me of all the ways my body serves me well, takes me where I need to go, functions so I can work, and bore three healthy children.  As a result, I decided from then on, I would be confident about my body and all its wonderful capabilities.

I AM NOT ALONE

I am certain I am not alone with these negative body-image feelings. How do you see yourself when you look in the mirror? What flaws do you pick out that sometimes make you cringe? Is it your hair or your feet? Your legs or your eye color? The stretch marks or scars? Your crooked smile?

Statistically speaking:

Two out of three women and one out of four men are on a diet at any given time, and 92% of cosmetic procedures were undergone by women. Only 4% of women worldwide consider themselves “beautiful.” Isn’t that nuts? Most fashion models are thinner than 98% of American women, and even they aren’t happy with their images.

It’s a new year, and with that people often make New Year’s resolutions. As I mentioned in my post last January, people make lofty goals. According to a survey* of 2,000 people, the top three resolutions for people are the following: eat healthier, exercise more, and lose weight. While I firmly believe in being healthy, I think our culture is obsessed with body image.

WE ARE HARD ON OURSELVES!

I watched a TED talk by supermodel Cameron Russell called “Looks aren’t everything. Believe me, I’m a model,” and she says models are “the most physically insecure women probably on the planet.” And if it isn’t our looks we fixate on, it’s something else. Perhaps it is your shy personality, loud laugh, parenting skills, career choice, or your forgetfulness.  Maybe it’s your impatience or the fact you are always late.

Wild and Free

Often, we slip on “masks” to fit in so people will like us, and we wear them for so long that we lose who we truly are. A few years ago, I read an encouraging book called, Wild and Free: A hope-filled anthem for the woman who feels she is both too much and never enough. Authors Jess Connolly and Hayley Morgan write that “you don’t have to be everything to everyone or have to try so hard to button it up and hold it together.” Wild and Free was written to help you “shake off the lies of insecurity and step forward to maximize your God-given influence for his glory and the world’s good.”

I am too much and not enough

In my own life, I have often felt like I am too much and not enough. I have been told to tone it down, not to laugh so loud, and to talk less, but God has made me an energetic, live-large kind of person. The truth is He loves me just as I am, and I don’t need to pretend to be anyone different. God created me uniquely just as He did you. God has intimate knowledge of our creation and our lives. He knows our thoughts and every hair on our heads. He knit us together in our mother’s wombs, and we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Each and everyone one of us! (Read Psalm 139 to find this truth).

Red Lipstick

In the book Wild and Free, Jess Connolly recalls a time when her mom gave her this massive ring because she saw her daughter as “spicy and bold enough to carry the ring off.” After she began wearing the ring, she decided to let go of the “vanilla, bland, lifeless season of surviving and not thriving” and began wearing punch red lipstick.  Every woman needs a red lipstick! Jess began to encourage others by giving them the gift of confidence that they too could pull off bright lipstick, or large rings or whatever it is that seems “too much’ to someone else. Be wild! Be free!

GIVE YOURSELF GRACE

I am preaching as much to you as I am to me when I say give yourself grace. I created a list of reminders for those days when I need to be gentler with myself, and perhaps you need them as well.

1.  You are so loved. God loves you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3), His love is steadfast (Deuteronomy 7:9), and He delights in you (Zephaniah 3:17.)
2. Be confident in who you are. Walk in boldness with all the gifts and attributes that make you unique.
3. Vow to:

• Honor your body. Eat healthily, keep moving, and remind yourself of all things your body allows you to do.
• Thank God for how He sees you and adores you.
• Choose to feel beautiful.
• Be gentle with yourself.

YOUR CROWN

A dear friend spoke this Maya Angelou quote over me, “Your crown has been bought and paid for. Put it on your head and wear it.” We are daughters of the King, beloved and beautiful. Let’s remember this on those days when we are hard on ourselves. ❤️

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Resources and fun links:

*Top Ten New Year’s Resolutions for Success and Happiness in 2019

Amy Schumer is Convinced She is a Supermodel– Great movie!

So You’re Feeling Too Fat to be Photographed by Teresa Porter

You Say by Lauren Daigle

This Instagram post on carrying extra weight by Stephanie Holden