Let’s chat about how to stay connected to your spouse when life seems so busy.
Our lives can get full with careers, child rearing, household chores, errand-running, ministry, outside friends hobbies, and such. I wrote a post on the importance of Dating Your Spouse and then two posts on date ideas- see here and here, but what about the day-to-day connections? How do we keep our marriage fresh and alive when we aren’t on dates or attending marriage conferences? How to do we maintain the spark?
I read somewhere that the first taste of love can strike you like a thunderbolt; it feels like a flash of lightning with a simultaneous crash of thunder. I discovered after years of marriage that the sudden electricity and explosions in our heart we first feel don’t stay. They fade to softer light and distant rumbles.
It’s the steady, constant companionship, and friendship that makes that initial spark grow into a love that endures for a lifetime. To grow that kind of love takes continual work. We cannot expect to plant a garden and then never water it; it will die. Our marriage is just like a garden that needs water, sunshine, and healthy soil. We have to tend to our relationships continually.
True love knits two people together until the threads of one life are intertwined with the threads of the other. Eventually, you become one thread. How can you celebrate the unity you share with your spouse when there are so many other things that demand your time? One approach to nurturing your marriage is to figure out ideas on how to stay connected.
My husband and I nurture our marriage in so many little ways. We text each other throughout the day little “I love you’s” or “I’m praying for you.” We leave each other notes and sometimes cards in various, unexpected places. We hold hands when we are out in public and often as we fall asleep. We spend time at the end of the evening talking about our day. We do small things for each other during the day such as putting away each other’s laundry, putting toothpaste on the toothbrush, lighting a candle in our bedroom at night, or running an errand for one another.
We find ways to be intentional and create oneness. My husband comes home for lunch several times a week, and we sit together. We rearrange our schedules to find space to sit in our library together to talk, or we sit in the backyard and enjoy the sunshine together.
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How do you maintain your marriage on a daily basis? What have you discovered works to keep the spark? Comment below. I would love to hear!
So important to keep that first spark. Thank you for sharing these neat ideas; loving reading your blog, Natalie!
Thank you, Jules! I appreciate your sweet feedback 🙂
Loved this! My husband and I text during the day just to say “miss you” or “thinking of you” and he puts a butterfly emoji to show he still gets butterflies when he thinks of me. It’s those little things that mean so much and are so easy to do.
Oh my goodness, that is precious, Diane! I love that he does that for you.
We love to text or phone each other during the day. Even when things are busy even a few minutes can help.
I agree, Anne. No matter how busy we are, it only takes a minute to text to let our spouses know we are thinking of them.
Honestly, there’s not a lot we can do. He can’t communicate out of his work position a lot, so there’s not a lot of ways to stay connected through the day. We normally spend 15-20 minutes talking after my daughter goes to bed.
You can leave notes for each to read while he is at work 🙂 That time at the end of the evening is always nice, isn’t it?
It’s so easy in this busy life to take for granted our spouse. And he is the one that I rely on and depend on the most. Thank you Natalie for this post! It’s such a great reminder that we NEED to make the effort and take the time to connect with one another. We often text or call each other to see what they other person is doing., but my favorite way of connecting with my husband is going for walks together.
Yes, making the time is key. We can let so many other things get in the way. We love going for walks, too xoxo
”We cannot plant a garden and never water it…” so true and yet how often I’m guilty of putting my own marriage on the back burner. Thanks for the practical advice.
Thank you for stopping by to read, Audrey. I hope you will find ways to incorporate “connecting” ideas 🙂
Thanks for all the great ideas. My husband and I don’t get to spend much time together because he works a lot. Once in awhile I’ll text him something, but maybe I need to start being more intentional about it and doing it more often.
I think you are on to something, Brenda 🙂 The more we connect, the closer our relationships are.