5 Ways to Start 2017 with Peace in Your Marriage

I want to chat with you today about adding healthy structure to your marriage. We are already in the second week of a new year, so let’s set some fresh goals for our relationships. Our partnerships with our spouses are the most important relationships we have here on earth, so we want to invest time and energy into them.

I put together a list of five ways to start the new year with peace in your marriage. These are strategies you can implement right away.

Let’s have a look at them~

1. Discuss your goals and plans for the year

Many times, we can set yearly goals, intentions, and plans for ourselves, but not for our marriages. Mapping out goals for ourselves is fine, but it is important to set goals for our marriages, too. Find a time to get alone for a while to ask yourselves some questions:

~What would we like to accomplish in our marriage this year?

~How often should we plan dates?

~Do we have any money in our budget for a weekend getaway?

~Will we want to do any Bible studies or take any marriage classes?

Sit together and write down goals for your marriage. Ask each other what you want to see in 2017 regarding your relationship.  

You can discuss what went well in 2016 and what didn’t.  Perhaps you want to change how often your schedules clash, or how frequently you want to invite other couples over for dinner, or you can bring up how you would like to go to bed at the same time every night. You may want to discuss how you can take walks together more or divide chores more evenly. It could be that 2016 went smoothly for your marriage, and you want to continue on the same path for 2017.

It is critical to align your calendars as well. When you both know the future commitments and regularly scheduled ones, neither of you is surprised when that Friday comes, and you are supposed to attend Uncle John’s retirement party or your son has a soccer game. Open communication about expectations and demands brings peace to your home.

Discussing individual goals is important as well. What is it that each of you hopes to accomplish in 2017?

 

2. Weekly Dates

If you read this previous post, Dating Your Spouse, then you know why weekly dates are necessary. Do you desire to keep your marriage alive and well? If you answered yes, then plan weekly dates! Dating your spouse is a key ingredient to a healthy marriage. On these dates, you can discuss upcoming events on your calendar or things you couldn’t talk about because of the distraction of kids, work, laundry, dogs barking, and the doorbell ringing. My husband and I use our dates to catch up on little and big things. Dates are an excellent way to align your hearts and your souls. They keep your friendship and romance alive.

 

3. Spiritual Connection

Start the new year off well by connecting spiritually with your spouse. What does this mean? It means conversing about spiritual goals for the year, for the month, and for each week.

What books will you read to enrich your spiritual growth? How often will you commit to attending church? Will you do individual and couples devotions? Will you make a plan to pray together? A spiritual connection also could also involve discussing sermons and podcasts you have listened to and what the Lord is teaching you. You can talk about a book in the Bible that you are reading, something on your heart that you want to pray more about, or attending a conference together.

Plan for whatever it is that enhances your walk with the Lord and brings your marriage peace.

 

4. Finances

Money is not always a fun topic to discuss; however, it is necessary. Have you set financial goals for this year? Have you talked with one another about ways to save, and how you will spend your money? Do you have any big plans that require extra budgeting? Have you thought about setting aside some fun money for spontaneous outings? Are you on the same page regarding your bank accounts?

My husband and I have found it helpful to sit together and talk about each other’s expectations. When there is a big decision to be made, we make a list of pros and cons and allow each other to voice opinions. Also, if there are purchases we each would like to each individually make this year, we talk about it.  If you don’t communicate your desires, they won’t be met. For example, your spouse may want to buy new patio furniture, or you may want to purchase a laptop. Talking about these things openly helps you both to come to an agreement and feel at peace with decisions.

 

5. Write a Love Letter

I cannot think of a more beautiful way to start the year than writing a love letter to your spouse! You can remind him/her of things you love about him/her, qualities you admire, and what you find attractive. Perhaps you will want to write a narrative of how you fell in love. You can write about character traits you have seen flourish in the last year. You may write about how your beloved has exceeded your expectations or things he/she does on a regular basis that you appreciate. You know your mate best, so write what you believe will touch his/her heart the most!

The beginning of the calendar year is an opportune time to cast vision. I hope these five ways to bring peace to your marriage will be an encouragement to you this week and establish peace in your marriage this coming year.  Please let me know if there is anything specific I can pray about for you.

Natalie xo